God told me to do it. Not directly but through God’s chain of command. He praised me for being a valiant warrior, He decorated my chest in pretty ribbons and hot metal freshly forged to show the valorous deeds I had done in his name and for my country. His law says I shall not kill, His mouth says kill freely and liberate a nation. God said to stand and watch a bucket of shit in the middle of a desert, I did, for three days. Then I dug a hole and burnt it, because God said too. God told me I should be proud of what I do or did, for I did it in his name. I sent another man to his God in the name of my God so that they could have their eternity. I did as God asked and felt Godlike in my doings. I am not God. Puppet Master tell me, is this your intention? Is my torment worth the price of your admission to this Morality play of injustice and torture placed upon my head?
No God you do not know, you sit upon your imperial throne dictating what shall be done. God you cast thousands out to another nation to kill in your name without thought of the toll on their heads. God You sent people to their death knowingly whilst you sat in your stately manor or fishing at some hole in Texas or Arkansas depending on which God we talk about. God for once take a step in the shoes of the puppet and hold a man on his last breath knowing his child is across the world and will never see him again. God tell that man what he did is an honor and privilege to the society who could a rats ass about him as long as they can continue their daily lives. God raise him from his eternal slumber.. What? You can not do that? Well then end this now! Huh? You can not do that either.
Then give comfort to his family, give wealth and joy to their hearts so they may at least carry on.. What? You will not do that either?
Well for a God .. You fall short of measure.

Dog eat dog. So it has been said over and over and even popularized in song. It is the capitalist way I suppose. Personally I have ate my share of dogs, I feel bloated and gorged on the dogs I have feasted upon. I tire of it but how does one stop? If you are not eating the dog then you must be the one being eaten. Certainly the dogs before me now are nothing compared to the ones of my past, actually quite pale and famished in comparison. But it remains the same that in our society if you are not feasting then you are left with scraps or worse. Do I have a solution? No. Will I be feasted upon or left to eat scraps? No. I guess the dog with his rear in my face should run like hell.

62 and sunny, 31 and moody, bananas and pancakes. That is Sunday morning.

I am in the hunt for a new video game to occupy some of my free time. I am not sure what i will go with, but I noticed next month heralds the arrival of NWN 2 and FFXIII for the PS2. Now One part of me is leaping out of my skin for a new FF game, I almost have a commitment to purchase it. The other half however is thinking if I get FFXIII will anyone ever see me again until I have filled myself on 120+ hours of gaming goodness?

On another note, People around this town are too crazed over college football. The first game of the year was yesterday and we decided we would go shopping. As with all previous years we were able to cruise around town with barely any traffic and no waiting at the stores. all because the Nebraska COrnHuskers fill that stupid stadium on the saturdays they play. This town needs a professional sort of some sort, I am really tired of hearing Huskers everything. Do they not realize the "men" they are rooting for are but kids? Sure some are just hitting their 21 st birthday, they can fight a war yatta yatta but it breaks down to these are the boys that have been playing in organized athletics for the past 10 years of their life and the majority know nothing other than that. Does it not sadden people to know that 90% of these men they are rooting for will disappear in 4 years or less? They will have to realize that "Wow college is over, I am not good enough to play professional!" All these years they have benn the best! They played for the Nebraska Cornhuskers BIG 12.. Blah blah blah... Great Johnny now finish ringing up my groceries.

Wow did not think I was going to tirade and lecture this morning. I do not know what the rest of this day shall bring but I am sure it will involve Ponies, Orcs, Dragons, Foxes, Humans, Magic, and Love. Oh! and if I am lucky.. a Wolf/Pony...
Signed,
B.

It seems very silly of me to have an LJ account and not post anything, so therefore I submit this, my first journal entry.

I sometimes question why it is I do what I do. In example: when I see another sporty type car next to mine, why do i feel the urge to press harder upon the gas pedal and shift like a maniac? Better yet, why is that when confronted with numbers in a structured setting I feel incapable of dealing with them and I just want to quit?

There are of course many other things that I question on a daily basis, but those are for their own posts I think.